Tobey Maguire: Not Sure About 'Spider-Man 4'

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???????

Straight from the horse's mouth (CNN): I "love when people make movies that help raise awareness," says the 31-year-old actor, whose films also include "The Cider House Rules" which helped to raise awareness about Cider and Houses, and "Seabiscuit," which helped raise awareness about horses.

When asked if he thought that 'Spider-Man 4' would not, in fact help raise awareness about Spiders and Men, Maguire could not be reached for comment. In a CNN Special Report next week, "How Dedicated to Causes IS Tobey Maguire?: Why the Brunette Hunk Should Be Forced to Play Spider-Man for the Fourth Time, in the Interest of America," fellow Spider-Man 1, Spider-Man 2, and Spider-Man 3 actor James Franco is expected to question Maguire's loyalty to America, and also to ask, "What even better does he have to do then?" Join us.

I swear.